After cancer, of course you're an angel... except you're not.

We have as many stereotypes about cancer 'survivors' as cancer patients. And those stereotypes can be -  frankly, a little bit galling. Of course I have become perfected in the maelstrom of hell fire that treatment entails... except I haven't.

It's been a while...

And it still hurts... and it's still hard to understand ...

There's So Very Much Unsaid...

A cure, no matter how temporary is still a cure. It's a pop out; back through the looking glass where the other side seems like a bad dream. Did it happen? Yes. Is it real? Yes and no. Is it a curious thing...  yes it is. Will it haunt me? No. Here's why.

Results In... NO SIGN OF CANCER

It's still sinking in. But I got the all clear! There are little issues remaining but the relief is growing by the minute. Not just mine; I am overwhelmed by the realisation that this weight has been carried by so many people who've shared the burden with me. Bless everyone of you. More later. For now - so much heartfelt thanks!

Mild Infection or Cervical Cancer - How You Can Tell!

Tomorrow I find out if I still have cervical cancer. I find out if the treatment has worked. When I was first diagnosed people asked me if I had any symptoms. I didn't think I did. But looking back, there was a sign I didn't recognise at the time. 

MRI Time - Truth or Dare

11 weeks and six days after my last follow up appointment I had my MRI. I also have my appointment for the results. It's next week. I'm feeling really ok about it. I have questions. I know I won't get all the answers. But I will get some.

Fear and The Catastrophising 'What Ifs'

I didn't used to be a panicky sort. A worrier sometimes... mostly I just dealt with crises by getting through and then falling apart. I used to call it the speed wobbles (the falling apart bit) but I thought I was good in a crisis. Some things change. Some things change back. The Cartastrophising 'What Ifs' might be here to stay.